Just when the knot in my stomach started to loosen a little, it got pulled even tighter today.
I started to see improvement in Rocco's appetite yesterday and today. He is at about half of what he used to eat, but at least he is actively asking for food and not fighting me. I also haven't noticed tongue/mouth thing anymore. Maybe his body is starting to get used to the meds a little?
I had an appointment with a Psychologist today to discuss my difficulties potty training Rocco. She had asked that I not bring Rocco to this appointment. We discussed our plan of attack and I really hope this helps us turn a corner in that department. I also brought up some of the side effects/symptoms we are experiencing since starting the medication. As regards to Rocco seeming more wired and doing things more excessively, she said this is not normal and to call his pediatrician. As far as the seeming less control of his emotions and more aggressive (but not violent) tantrums, she thinks this is more behavioral and could be a coincidence that it is coming about at the same time as starting meds. This is how I'm advise to handle Rocco's undesirable behavior:
Ready for it?
Brace yourself...
I
Am
Just
To
IGNORE IT!
Really! No time outs, no arguing, no acknowledging bad behavior at all!
So if I ask Rocco to do something like get dressed and he yells at me and says, "No, I don't want to." I am to walk away and completely ignore it. Then 5 minutes later again ask him to get dressed again in a calm voice.
Look, I agree that a lot of parents make the mistake of reinforcing the negative when disciplining, including me, but ignoring bad behavior is going to be a challenge. Of course if he hits his sister, he's going on a time out, but pretty much everything else is ignored. Basically I think this approach has some valid points. For one, trying to reason with a child is somewhat pointless. They don't have logic yet. I don't think Johnny cares that mommy's feeling are hurt that he wasn't being very nice to his sister by not wanting to share his cookie with her. This psychologist says the less you say in a heated moment the better.
Ok I'm doing a poor job of explaining things so let me give you an example. Tonight before bed, Rocco wanted a sip of soda. We don't have any soda in the house. Tony offered him water. Rocco starts to raise his voice and says, "I WANT SODA!!!", Tony says something on the lines of don't yell at me. We don't have soda. Here is some water. Rocco: I WANT SODA, I WANT SODA, I WANT SODA! Tony: "I told you not to yell at me, go on a time out." Major tantrum on horizon! I was upstairs listening, but didn't want to step in and undermined Tony. Rocco of course refused to go on time out, started crying and yelling, "I want soda" over and over. Tony gives up, very frustrated and tells Rocco to go see me because he's done trying.
At this point Rocco is crying so much that his face is all red and is trying to yell "I want soda" in between trying to breath. Empowered by my appointment today, here's what I did. I sat down in the rocking recliner in Rocco's room and asked him to come sit on my lap. I told him I wanted to give him a hug to which I did. Still crying for his soda, I said, "I don't have soda, would you like water?" crying. want soda. crying. I then said it one more time in a very calm voice. "I don't have soda, would you like water?" That was it. He sat and cried for about 3 minutes and still asked for soda. I sat there with him on my lap, but said and did nothing else. A couple minutes later, Rocco seems to start calming himself down and points to the water bottle. I ask him if he would like some and he said yes. He drank a lot of water! I sang him 3 songs and tucked him in his bed.
It felt good. I felt more loving with this approach. Don't get me wrong, sitting there listening to his screaming and crying was hard. Yesterday I would have made him go on a time out for sure and would have been more angry overall.
Hey baby steps here. I'm not saying this approach is perfect and easy, but I'll give it a try.
So again I'll say that Rocco's tantrum and emotions seem to be heightened still. Side effect to the medicine remains unknown.
Here's the 2nd step back: His teacher sent some negative feedback home today. When I dropped him off this morning she said that she was going to start a log in his communication folder. So days that are good she won't write anything and days there are concerns vice versa. Can I say that I love his teacher for being committed to helping Rocco! So today this is the note I got:
2/23: Talking loud, wringing hands, jumping when told to stand still. Talking excessively.
Crap. In all the time he has been going to preschool, (2 1/2 years) I have never received so much negative feedback on one day. So it makes me feel that these behavior things are either new or worse since we started the medicine. And that leaves me with:
Are we on the wrong medicine or is the dose too high, or has Rocco been misdiagnosed all together? I wish there was a way to 100% without doubt know the answer to that question!!!! Is this something I need to be giving time so that Rocco adjusts to meds or am I completing wrong for listening to his doctors and giving him meds?
Just when I thought I was making progress.
So for now, I have a call into his doctor and should hear back within 24 hours. I will give him a pill tomorrow because I not suppose to stop cold turkey without doctor approval.
Sorry this post seems so negative. I'm kind of in a mood due to some other stress in my life and I think that this seeping over here tonight. I think I would have a drink tonight if I had any alcohol in the house, but I'll settle for some "Teen Mom 2" therapy. Yes seeing other people acting stupid make me feel better about myself. haha
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