5150

Who's ready for the ravings of a lunatic? Honestly, I have felt a little crazy this past week. One minute, Rocco does something, totally new and I give the meds the credit, then he has a major meltdown and I blame the meds. And so on and so on.

The good:
Rocco learned how to whistle. He never really showed interest in that before. He asked how and I showed him. Then he kept trying and in about a 36 hour period he got it. He whistled! I'm more impressed that he was determined to do something then the actual whistle, but we celebrated the victory together.

FOUR Days! Rocco went four days straight without pooping in his pants! The Peds Behavioral Specialist said that the meds could help with his potty training because he'd be more aware of his body's cues to go. On Sunday, I didn't give Rocco the medicine and he pooped in his pants. I'm hoping to get back on track with his progress.

Spontaneous descriptions are more detailed lately. Now most kids respond, "I don't remember", when you ask them what they did at school. Probably not because they forgot, but rather they don't want to take the time to tell you. Today after I picked up Rocco, he said: "Mom, in Speech, Ms. Jamie asked where the girl in the box was and I showed her and I was right. And then she read me a story and said the girl was moving and then she asked me what the girl was going to do and I said move." Not only do I think his focus is improving, but he's understanding more that he in fact is doing a good job.

He seems more interested in academics, like singing the ABC's without someone asking him to.

When spending one-on-one time with Rocco playing video games, it feels more like I'm playing with an equal rather then a mom playing with her little boy. This probably doesn't make any sense, but that's the best way to describe his maturity growth.

Wow Renee, things seem great right?

The Bad:

I am running out of things Rocco will eat. If he seems a tiny speck of green (Oregano) on his cheese pizza, he won't eat it. He's really examining his food and will dismiss anything that looks off to him. I feed him breakfast before his meds so he seems to eat that ok. I do try to beef up that meal, because lunch is really bad. His teacher says snack is really hard too. I make him choose his lunch in hopes that will help him eat it. Pretty much all week he takes like two bites of lunch and then says he's just not hungry. Dinner, I'm pretty much a short order cook, but I'm choosing my battles right now. He still is only eating about 50% at dinner time.

Rocco seems to have less patience with younger friends. He does seem to be playing better with kids his own age, but doesn't let the little kids tackle him anymore. To explain, he used to let a couple 2 year olds chase and jump on him. If he would get annoyed, he'd calmly ask them to get off or call for my help. Now he starts to cry and get all worked up if that happens. Not because he is physically hurt, but I think he's having a harder time controlling those emotions. Or I seem to notice the girls crying more over Rocco losing his patience with them easier. He still doesn't physically hurt them, but his more aggressive demeanor is bothering them.

Remember when I told you the Psychologist said no more timeouts and just ignore bad behavior? Well that is really hard to do especially with your sweet boy develops a teen aged like attitude. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO, I'm NOT going to do that!!!!" "Control your emotions, Rocco", I respond. "STOPPPPP saying that! You keep saying that!!!!! STOP", shouts Rocco. I think I grew up with "Respect your Elders" mentality and don't want to teach Rocco that being rude is accepted. Or maybe the more honest reason is because I want to be more superior as the parent. I don't know, but last night he was having a pretty intense tantrum and I think I quietly said to my husband that this medicine is not going good and right this very little second in time I want to stop it!

Note from his teacher: "3/11 & 3/12, Rocco is excessively talking during circle time and not listening. When asked comprehensive questions he was unable to answer." He also didn't earn a stamp yesterday because he wouldn't stop saying, "I don't want to sit next to Julian during snack time!" They teacher would respond, "Rocco, right now we are reading in circle time, it's not time for snack yet." She didn't say, Ok Rocco you don't have to sit next to him, so Rocco kept saying it and being disruptive. I told her, he probably was doing this because I remember Rocco telling me that Julian threw up on the snack table when he was sitting next to him. She said, "Yes, but that was three weeks ago". Another sign that some compulsive behavior is developing and certain things seem very unreasonable in Rocco's mind, like sharing a drink with anyone. I think the next thing I'm going to say sounds paranoid. Rocco's teachers seem more annoyed with Rocco then ever before. I'm sure this is probably because I asked them to report changes in his behavior and watch him more closely, but so far I seem to only be hearing the negative changes. Also, I've read that some teachers don't understand ADHD and are often annoyed with bad behavior from students with it (I don't blame them). So far, I've been really lucky in the fact that everyone has always said they LOVE Rocco and think he is such a nice happy-go-lucky kid. His delays in development were forefront in our previous discussions and I'm a little afraid he is being less liked. (That's a mom thing I probably just need to get over.)

So do I sound nuts yet? I even said to a friend today, Why can't I get the positive from the medicine without the negative? Wouldn't life be grand with only positive things! Throw in the fact that you never really know if the changes are 100% do to meds and not the fact that he is growing up!!!!

So I'm still sticking with the meds right now. Rocco will be tested in the next coming weeks to see his readiness for kindergarten and I hoping for progress.

Up, down, high, low, happy, frustrated.